Damned Happiness. 


Okay  how do you begin this? Is this the part am to lie to your faces and waste your precious valuable time, about true happiness and other irrelevant theorems? That finding inner peace is key to unlocking the chest that babysits your purpose in life…

I’m talking real happiness, you know, the kind that you’re comfortable with every move in your life ; your mansion at the beach has just been refurnished or worse, your  landlord is paid on time, your daughter has texted with all the colour in language she knows, to thank you for the good time she had in Disneyland with her Chinese friends. That’s the type of thing I’m discussing over here people, tangible happiness. The type that someone can attest to, not this bullshit people tell you, lives inside you. What lives inside you is pure biology. 
Yeah, i know right. Money is not happiness. There are poor happy people too but then tell me of anyone you’ve seen smiling on a Friday night without a penny the whole week. Not that his sombre mood has anything to do with missing the shittiest events featuring the ‘super-drunk and always late’ local artists (for the sake of literature relevance, let’s just call them… Okay local artists! I’ll let that slide with a silly grin.), No! He or she doesn’t engage in any alcohol and related activities but i bet everyone gotta eat right? Unless that person is a die-hard fanatic of perseverance or you’ve been seeing severely thinning children and mothers smiling for the camera in documentaries about critical hunger ‘games’ in Africa (apparently most people [non-Africans and even Africans out of Africa-legally or otherwise] believe that Africa is one fucked up place to be. You don’t die fighting wars for Shaka Zulu -they even forgot they killed him decades ago : almost a century  now, some out-of-the-blue disease epidemics and stuff will haunt your rough black ass till you’re history or some stray wild beast will have you for his valentines dinner date and a positive to his savage list : since we all live in the wild. Come on guys, we also have tall buildings in our cities, or towns ; if you call them that. They are not skyscrapers like the Empire State but they are structures you don’t get to see everyday ;anywhere [they’re cities ; we won’t be intimidated. Africa rise up yo!]. You know what the best part is? We also got fu<cki>ng loud night clubs, maybe way too loud [don’t worry, the Environmental Conservation boards are paid off. At least most of us tolerate greased hands. It’s no news here, and there too! Don’t dare deny it!] Where was I? Night clubs, sorry. Yeah, most of them play foreign music. Noo, it’s not what you are thinking. We got local artists too, i thought i told you? Maybe they’re aren’t as good as Zayn Malik [Lets be honest though, Gigi Hadid is quite a blend of every dream girl in your phantom. I’m talking to the brother with no lady to grinds groins with in the middle of a freezing April, salute ‘bruh’. The struggle is too real but don’t get lost in your ‘relotionship’.] or we don’t have that requisite resource to enhance our quality. I honestly don’t have the slightest fu***ng clue and don’t give two shits about it either  since I’m also lost in the foreign industry. You see it’s hard to resist some Travis Scott so you can’t blame me entirely for this shortcoming.) 

You won’t see a happy man going home empty-handed to his beautiful housewife and starving kids, after a hot sunny day’s hustle and bustle. Not even the famous crazy storylines of Mexican soap operas can be at peace with such a plot. Believe me, if you find one, it’s either the world has shitted right on your brain or it has gone King Kong and rebelled against the codes that designed it (everyone is doing it[rebelling], i mean look at the illegal immigrants in USA who voted in Trump because he had a better hairstyle than Clinton. No more police stops where you gotta show your driver’s license but they splash your brain matter on your steering wheel since they suddenly noticed you’re a black man[me too, i wish I could use the ‘N-word’] and they don’t need it anymore. How about that for a positive?) Generally, the basic point of these many boring descriptions I’ve given above narrows down to the fact that money/wealth is the cocaine in this high we call happiness. Let me put it this way, handling problems with money is less fucked up than meditating about them on a rugged bed staring into the star freckled sky through the potholes marking your retired roof,sleeping into the dawn of new nightmare ; another day of your fed up head in a guillotine. 
Most of us only interact with happiness through what we hear in the music : “Chains swaying, diamonds binging, holl up!”,what we see on Instagram and the other Zuckerberg Brothers, and whatever we read on cheap-talk blogs : most of which are outright fiction and speculated rumours, and the various lifestyle mag issues and papers. Those are people free from the corrupt social beliefs that always make us ask ourselves a thousand and one questions before considering a move, such that at the end of the day you are there seated in your lifeless lounge with magnificent works of art on the walls wondering what you did to earn this humdrum period of time ; the one they call life. Their worries are off their welfare issues since they keep earning more with each day past, thus they can afford the time, space and resources to appreciate themselves. Oh you thought money isn’t the shit? Read this.

 There are a type of people who always have their pockets in constant jeopardy but then they’re nice to people you know. Somehow along the day they’ll meet an old friend[rich old friend] who buys some Kentucky fries and chicken and just before nightfall is a call from the pretty lady working at the Kylie Cosmetics Salon ( talk of brands. Talk of brands ten times better than the service offered) – she just wants to talk but then what could go wrong if he stayed on for supper and even late late supper?[just-a-friend was here!]. Now we’re on the same page of this intriguing story ; who can be so lucky to live such a life? You won’t believe me if i told you there are more than enough individuals to answer that question so once again, I’m letting it slip under my arms but still, happiness is money sponsored. 
Fine ladies and hungry gentlemen : there’s a concept known as Lady Happiness. It is with the approval of nature that females stand a higher ratio in being happy as compared to the masculine faction. A woman can have it all(with all due respect to the feminists of mother earth, I beg to seek your mercy on this. I understand that you are in possession of powers to end careers but mine is just a shoot – be gentle). A lady of my age has a lesser odd than myself in a bet of making it to a cool kid’s house party in the green Estates. I mean, what does she need : a good taste in dressing and a call from[take note – she doesn’t even need a phone bill for that] a hyena (it’s what we respectfully call hungry males in despair to getting laid.) Just dress to the cut and fake a smile when they ‘halla’ at you along the corridors to your lecture halls or whisper a ‘hi’ in the subway, on your way home from internship/the first job week . I’m talking of a 18-26years kind of girl ; the ardent die-young practitioners, smoke-liquor and party go-getters. I’m sure you know a couple ; you’ve even had a misplaced crush on a few, before you ran away to salvation. In fact, some enjoy a luck that runs to the extent of attracting crazy amounts of bills catered for by rich men [with big bellies!] and all you have to bear is the ‘whore’ tag (once more, I’m just a human who believes he’s creative so spare me the cross. I need one/two more years to watch the next season of House Of Cards – feminists i see you. Peace.) However, let this not be a crazy idea in anyone’s head – this type of business venture is not as cheap as it seems. There’s a huge chunk of time invested in makeup, adding snapchat filters and #Queening captions for the photos with tongues-out poses [i should say I’m a big fan of such. They’re a muse to my idol nights and procrastinated tasks]. It’s called grinding : #grindallday, #paperchaser and the ugly likes. Please, please #bitchplease! 
This is kind of a long confusing story, especially about a silly topic like ‘Happiness’. I mean, who wakes up at 5 on a cold silent morning – with every reason to continue seeking refuge in a soft wool duvet – to write about happiness? Anyway, happiness is what you decide to feed your brain with : what is acceptable to you and the way you perceive the your environment. We are not happy because we chose to add laws to it. You can’t be happy without this or that, so many don’ts  that we can’t facilitate the do’s with the necessary attention and dedication. Happiness is not a science that requires research and established facts, it’s out there ; go get money. 


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