I thought if i made you an instagram post you’d be happy,
So i made a thousand and one,
Let my feelings tag along.
I spent every single pretty word on you,
Trying to grow from the stupid boy down the hallway,
Trying to add more sparkle on your eyes,
Their depths in which my trust sunk into.
The world was closed from me and i enjoyed your space.
That was my fantasy right there and you brought it to life,
That was the Friday night i wished for in highschool,
Spiced up with marijuana but you were my high and…
And i just can’t believe it faded away,
Like a dying star in the skies.
I never heard from you since,
Not even a comment and you never texted or called.
Then i was tired of the voicemail girl and gave up.
Some wolves must have turned you against me in the full moon.
Maybe it was something i said,
I could delete it all if that was the assurance for your happiness.
But last night i called your brother,
Still feels like it was a nightmare.
Or maybe he was just tryna keep me away,
He was mad i didn’t go to your funeral.
And if that was a joke then i passed.
I want to flash that thought down the drain but now it adds up and i think the sum is incorrect.
At least i want to believe so.
That you ain’t dead and you’ll show up one day,
With the bubbles on your smile,
Grab a cup of coffee downtown.
Go to all those beautiful places you talked of,
We could start with Accra.
Then the beaches, fly to Europe,
Dare the heights of adventure
But I can’t afford you around me now.
Not even for a second,
Life is that expensive and the moments we shared are priceless.
And all those days i was angry at you,
I wish they were points i could redeem.
Damn! I’ll never forgive myself for that.
For my obsession at pleasing you,
I forgot i was just perfect for you,
I needed to be there.